Thank You For Inviting Me to Your Threesome

But unfortunately, I will have to pass

Photo by bdeanindy on Pixabay

Dear drunk couple eye-balling me from across the bar,

When I first laid eyes on both of you, my stomach fluttered.

Not because I was intrigued, but because you two were violently making out in front of everyone. Like, I could literally see both your tongues scraping the…