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Ms. Part Time Wino
Ms. Part Time Wino

3.5K Followers

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Published in Sex and Satire

·Oct 24, 2022

That Time I Went to Cuba and Slept With My Tour Guide

Just doing what I can to support the Cuban people — Visiting Cuba as an American is challenging. Not just because it's illegal for us to visit as tourists (thanks so much, Mr. Trump) but also because of the many regulations and restrictions imposed on visitors and citizens. …

Sex

7 min read

That Time I Went to Cuba and Slept With My Tour Guide
That Time I Went to Cuba and Slept With My Tour Guide
Sex

7 min read


Published in Hello, Love

·Mar 10, 2022

I Married My Ex-Boyfriend's Boss

But the worst part was — we all worked at the same company. — Fraternization in the workplace is usually a big no-no. And as a young 22-year old who had just started her first full-time job, I knew sleeping with a coworker would have dire consequences on my reputation. After all, I was a career woman now. I wasn't going to ruin my…

Love

5 min read

I Married My Ex-Boyfriend's Boss
I Married My Ex-Boyfriend's Boss
Love

5 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Dec 23, 2021

Thank You For Inviting Me to Your Threesome

But unfortunately, I will have to pass — Dear drunk couple eye-balling me from across the bar, When I first laid eyes on both of you, my stomach fluttered. Not because I was intrigued, but because you two were violently making out in front of everyone. Like, I could literally see both your tongues scraping the inside of…

Humor

3 min read

Thank You For Inviting Me to Your Threesome
Thank You For Inviting Me to Your Threesome
Humor

3 min read


Published in Hello, Love

·Dec 17, 2021

I Asked a Stranger "36 Questions That Lead to Love" and Met My Future Husband

Well, that escalated quickly. — I couldn't believe my eyes. The smoldering, blonde, blue-eyed German I had a one-night stand with two weeks ago in Munich was now sitting in front of me in a bar in Barcelona. As in — he flew from Munich to Barcelona to see me. For our second date. I…

Love

5 min read

I Asked a Stranger "36 Questions That Lead to Love" and Met My Future Husband
I Asked a Stranger "36 Questions That Lead to Love" and Met My Future Husband
Love

5 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Dec 15, 2021

Real Stories Of Those Who’ve Suffered From Jackhammer Dick

It could be hurting someone you love Jackhammer Dick is a serious condition that affects thousands of lives each year. While it’s common to joke about having this debilitating condition, many people are unaware of the real impact it has on society, for both men and women. Because the truth…

Humor

3 min read

Real Stories Of Those Who’ve Suffered From Jackhammer Dick
Real Stories Of Those Who’ve Suffered From Jackhammer Dick
Humor

3 min read


Published in The Haven

·Dec 8, 2021

What Growing Out My Pubes Taught Me About Life

Beauty doesn’t make a woman — a full bush does. — I’m currently nine weeks into my ten-week road trip through the Balkans. I’ve visited eight different countries, met dozens of warmhearted locals, and gained three pounds (holy shit, have you tried this burek thing?). …

Sex

4 min read

What Growing Out My Pubes Taught Me About Life
What Growing Out My Pubes Taught Me About Life
Sex

4 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Dec 3, 2021

An Ode to the Ballsack

Your soft, saggy flesh makes my world go round The testes. Man marbles. Bags made from plucked chicken skin. Dangling from the core of your being, tucked ever so neatly behind your sword. Like two backup singers modestly supporting their leading man. I reach over and cradle them in the…

Sex

2 min read

An Ode to the Ballsack
An Ode to the Ballsack
Sex

2 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Jan 11, 2021

25 Thoughts I Had While Sticking My Finger in a Guy’s Butt

Do I really have to cut my nails? I just got a manicure. Alright — I’m about to go where no woman has gone before. At least nowhere this woman has gone before. How do you want to do this, dude? Standing? On all fours? On your back with your…

Humor

3 min read

25 Thoughts I Had While Sticking My Finger in a Guy’s Butt
25 Thoughts I Had While Sticking My Finger in a Guy’s Butt
Humor

3 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Jan 4, 2021

Dear Boyfriend, I’m Sorry I Faked My Orgasm Last Night

But why did you have to make that weird moaning sound? Dear boyfriend, Last night, something horrible happened. I’ve been struggling with this all morning, but I decided it was better to come clean than to live with this guilt for the rest of my life. I’m not quite sure…

Humor

3 min read

Dear Boyfriend, I’m Sorry I Faked My Orgasm Last Night
Dear Boyfriend, I’m Sorry I Faked My Orgasm Last Night
Humor

3 min read


Published in Sex and Satire

·Dec 26, 2020

20 New Years Resolutions for Bad Girls

Resolutions are like condoms — they aren’t meant to be broken I promise to give the Magic Wand a much-needed break and try another vibrator. As they say, you’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. I plan to do more yoga. Because there’s this leg…

Sexuality

3 min read

20 New Years Resolutions for Bad Girls
20 New Years Resolutions for Bad Girls
Sexuality

3 min read

Ms. Part Time Wino

Ms. Part Time Wino

3.5K Followers

first of her name. writer of nonsense. queen of drinking wine.

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